Tu-Lox Opens Up About Overcoming Depression

Deejay Tu-Lox is among a few thriving podcasters in the Dancehall space, but before he started the My Tu-Sense Podclass in 2020, his mental health was on the decline. 

The Twin of Twins member recently opened up about battling depression between 2017 and up to three years ago, after a failed relationship separated him from his son. 

Dancehall artist Paul ‘Tu-Lox’ Gaynor

“Mi go through a serious breakup and when breakups involve kids and you’re a father who care fi yuh youth, cause you know dah something deh out deh; the stereotype is that men just get kids and cut, a nuh my thing that,” Tu-Lox said on the latest episode of The Cut.

“Matter of fact, at a point, mi try fi live down certain things because mi waan mi youth roun’ mi. So you gwaan wid yuh foolishness, see mi youth yah, mi good, and at the end of the day, it still never work because mi still end up lose the youth.”

The father of three explained that it was his only child who was raised in a nuclear family, and that he didn’t anticipate the psychological effects of the separation.

“When him leave, mi did tell myself seh eeh, yeah man, you know the typical age-old ‘yuh haffi tough’? So, mi seh gwaan, yaa idiot, mi will talk to mi youth pon Facetime cause a dat nuff a di woman dem do enuh, tun yuh inna Facetime father and think seh yow, just because you a man, yuh nuh normally care fi yuh youth so nothing no wrong if mi do that to yuh. So, yuh feel like yuh can deal with it and mi realise seh it’s like mi cya live without this youth… Mi nuh wake up a morning, mi nuh see him a go a school, all these things start play pon mi emotions and mi go through one serious depression, and when mi seh serious, mi mean really serious.”

The Ministry of Health and Wellness details the unending sadness and hopelessness associated with depression, and its effects on one’s appetite, interests and decision-making.

Tu-Lox was able to overcome the dismal period after remembering he had two other kids to show up for. 

Tu-Lox with his daughter Rebecca Gaynor

“It’s not like yuh stop caring for this one cause dat impossible, but if mi nuh pull up myself by my own bootstraps now, and then guess wah gwaan? Mi a one type of man weh if you have mi a specific way, mi a prove yuh wrong… Weh yuh did seh babymother? Nowhere going? Mi a go show yuh something. And I started pouring life into myself because sometimes yuh haffi do it yourself…”

Already an entrepreneur through his Rebel 13 clothing business, the epoch inspired a wave of introspection and innovation, inspiring his popular podcast.

“Mi get more creative. Mi go inna myself and try figure out what can I do to mek mi life better? And then COVID drop in – one of the best thing weh ever happen to the world and the worst – and mi start the My Tu-Sense Podclass, so deh so now mi internalise and go inna myself and use my experiences from relationships, you name it…and mi start teach to the world so some other people nah fi go through weh me go through.”

Other Jamaican artists who have opened up about overcoming depression include singer Cocoa Tea, who felt “out of it” because of the nuances of the foregone pandemic; Jada Kingdom, whose 2022 “skinny girl era” was the result of mental health challenges; and Minister Marion Hall whose hardships during her walk with Christ left her down and out for months.

If you or your loved one needs mental health support, call the 24/7 Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Helpline at 888-NEW-LIFE (888-639-5433).

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